Phil English Blog

 

 hats are always too small for my head. so far, every time i get a hat it doesnt fit me. hats are always too small for me no matter the type of hat. i cant get adjustable hats either because the velcro strap will get stuck to my dreads. i just don’t bother to wear hats anymore, beanies are the only exception because they can fit any head.

 i wish i asked my mom about going to the dmv. i had asked once but i wish i asked again. i had assumed she was gonna take me soon to go get my permit but she had forgotten. i didnt bother to ask again for another couple months because i wasnt sure if she still remembered or not. i started bringing it up again and eventually took me but i wish i had spoken up sooner, because i would have had my license by now.

 i forgot my wallet at work once. i used to work at hollister at lenox mall. during my hours, taking out your wallet and putting it in a locker as well as your other personal belongings. it was normal to put your things in the licker at the beginning of your shift, and at the end, you were supposed to clock out with your employee card which we kept in our wallets. being said, i went to go retrieve my wallet to get my employee card so i could swipe it and clock out at the end if my shift, but i ended up forgetting about my wallet and leaving it on the back counter and almost leaving the mall without it, but luckily i remember last second and went back to go get it.

 i knew my regular middle school experience was over when covid hit. i was in 7th grade when the pandemic hit. going into 8th grade it was entirely virtual and we did school from the computer. towards the end of 8th grade, we went to school 2 days out of the week. we got together as a grade to graduate middle school however, at the end of the year in may. going into my freshman year the pandemic had ended and we attended school as normal.

 during one of my previous soccer seasons soccer games i was profoundly bored due to the score. me and my team were confident wed win as we were undefeated but we didnt know wed win by so much. some point throughout the game our coach told us to stop scoring and just pass the ball. we were up 9 to nothing and we stopped taking the game seriously. we showboated and passed the ball which of course infuriated the other team as they were aware there was no coming back.

 Im certain that im good at soccer. before you call it an ego or im full of if myself, i used to be really bad. i was barely able to dribble the ball or do more than 2 juggles. but with consistency and love for the game i was able to learn more and more. i was always fascinated by players better than me, i looked up to their skill and watched and adopted their skills. i continued to adopt more and more skills from other players whether they were better than me or not. i also learned from playing the game in the heat of the moment. my skill and technique developed and grew over the years and i became a very good player who surpassed even those that i looked up to and kept getting even better, being good st not only one thing either, im exceptionally good in defending and attacking and especially creating opportunities for my teammates. recently ive been getting invites to national college camps to play soccer and make a name under college coaches who are interested by me and other p...

 I thank my grandma for always being there for me. my grandma always tries to spoil me the best she can. when i have nobody to talk to shes always there. I cant always count on her to listen to what i have to say and to hear me. my grandma has always been very gentle with me, shes always been in my corner ever since i was born. i would do anything to repay her for all shes done for me.

growing up i never liked getting clothes for christmas. it was a waste of a present i thought. i always thought i could have gotten something more fitting for a present like a video game or a toy. the older i got i didnt mind the clothes as a gift, though opening a present just to recieve socks made me cringe still. now i appreciate the clothes far more than i used to.

 A secret that was kept from me was that santa wasnt real. growing up i always thought santa, or saint nick was a real person. Little me always thought the one responsible for delivering presents and eating the cookies and drinking the milk youd leave out was real without a doubt. everyone had told me he was real, but that’s because they were either adults who wanted to fuel my imagination or my peers who also believed he was real as well. when i was told he wasnt real i wasnt really phased but it was sucky to hear. Christmas felt more like christmas when under the impression that santa was real.

 my secret was coming to lakeside. it was a secret i kept from my friend Roy, who has been attending lakeside since we entered high school. me and him grew up together, as we both attended the same elementary and middle school. we actually went to the globe, the middle school down the street from lakeside. when i finally managed to get to lakeside after being in highschool for 2 years I was happy. During thebsummer, i told roy that i would be coming to lakeside and he was happy as well.

 I apologize to myself for being so hard on myself. though being hard on myself has made me better at some things, it has also exhausted me mentally. if i dont do something right ill beat myself up over it. usually if i dont do something right ill obsess over it and what i could have done better. the over obsessing usually leads up to me trying over and over again until i get it right. If i continue to fail i begin to get angry with myself, and for that i apologize to myself for theat

 i used to know how to play guitar. i went to classes 2 times a week. in these classes i learned how to play different songs and also learned how to use the guitar. eventually i stopped going to theses classes and didnt pick up a guitar for a long time after that. drawing was always my thing to begin with and didnt have any interest in playing music. recently i picked up guitar again, im ok at playing, i can play one song very fluently but thats it for now.

 i vaguely remember attending stone mountain high school. there, i met some cool freinds. i dont remember the classes i had but i remember some of my freinds names. i remember being in the njrotc but i don’t remember anything from the class at all. i dont remember any of my teachers names from stone mountain either.

 i knew i was in trouble when my phone died in the street in the middle of the night. my phone had died after one of the football games. my mom refused to come get me so i had to get on my bike and try and wonder my way back home the best i could. i wondered for a long time until i was exhausted. i biked through neighborhoods and across streets desperately trying to find my way back home. i was only able to find my way home after 8 hours of biking in the muddle of the night without any way of getting help.

 I have too many problems. i got problems at home that are family related. i have problems at school, with being at a new school and being behind. i have problems with my hand, because it was recently broken n but it has healed but its still uncomfortable a little. lifting weights proves to be taxing on my left hand due to the very recent injury. i have problems with my cats because they have fleas and are really dirty.

soccer requires a lot of stamina in order to play. players are required to run up and down the field for 90 minutes, with 45 minute halves. soccer is very physically demanding and taxing on the legs. throughout the game, players must jog, sprint, jump, and kick and chase the ball. players must also not only keep up with their own team but the other team as well

 when my little sister chaya was born, i was excited for all i can remember. leading up to her birth, i had always thought about who she would look like, or who shed act like. I also thought about the things she could like. The curiosity of who my soon to be baby sister would be fascinated me. Chaya was born in april when i was 12. Now, chaya is 4 years old and has a lot of personality for a toddler, though her personality is heavily influenced by my personality, as she adopted a sense of humor from socializing with me, and she is very playful and has a great imagination.

 every now and then I obsess over my facial asymmetry. Being so used to my reflection and always seeing my face displayed a certain way through the mirror, i was conditioned to a specific image of myself throughout all my life. With that being said, the image of my face portrayed by a phones camera, to me, is an eyesore. the phones image is so unfamiliar to me that i even began to debate whether im ugly or not. Though the asymmetry is only somewhat noticeable in my lips, i made a very big deal out of it, as the asymmetry took a toll on my self esteem temporarily. Though the issue was small, the asymmetry could be adjusted with braces in the future.